The First Game

I saw you tonight. I watched you with hungry mom eyes. Just devouring the sight of you.

You're such a great goalie. Its always fun to watch you, but it was more so this time.

Your sister was so excited to see you. She could hardly contain herself.

I was scared, not sure what to expect, but you smiled so big! You can't know how that smile made me feel. Thank you.

It was just a few minutes, some awkward conversation, both being careful. When I hugged you goodbye, kissed your head and said I love you, you didn't pull away.

You said I love you too.

Its the first time in our relationship that you've said that. I will never forget that moment. Not as long as I live,

Tidy

You've been gone for a little over a week. The house is tidier. There have been no arguments, no yelling, no frustrated sighs. Your bedroom door is closed. It hides the mattress and empty dresser.

I want to reach out to you, but I know you don't want me to. I am trying to grasp how you could so completely shut the door on our relationship. I get that I'm not perfect, but neither are you.

Do you even miss me?

In our therapy exercises we are supposed to think of things that make us mad, sad and happy. You are always my sad thought.

I know this is for the best, but I miss you.

Hope you are well.